The One

Growing up I always imaged my prince charming coming to sweep me off my feet and lead me to happily ever after. Disney was my life and I never saw any logical reason why I shouldn’t be a princess. That was when I was 7.

When I was 10 I knew that I’d fall in love in high school. It would be the type of fairy tale love that would last forever. We’d get married after graduation and go to college together and I’d still get my happily ever after.

I started high school when I was 15 years old and I had a crush on a junior boy. I thought eventually he’d notice me and tell me I’m not like all the other girls. Then we’d get married and live happily ever after. He never did notice me. Shocker.

Junior year I fell in love. I never saw it coming. She was my best friend. She was a she. Holy shit I’m gay. But it was ok, because I loved her and she loved me. It wasn’t exactly the love I was expecting but it was so much better. I never could have imagined what being in love was really like until it actually happened to me. We were together for a year and a half before we broke up.

The break up destroyed me. I was with this girl most of junior and senior year. We talked about surviving long distance while in college. We talked about how we’d eventually move in together, get married and adopt kids. We even came up with names for those kids. We talked about all the different places we’d live and travel to. I had stars in my eyes and when I saw her I couldn’t help but smile.

She was the one.

And when it was over I thought so was everything else. I had lost my one. My one person who would be my perfect other half for all of eternity. I truly believed I would never feel that way again.

After a year I began to realize, there isn’t just one person out there for everyone. I haven’t completely given up the idea of soul mates. I do believe we are supposed to meet the people we meet and have the relationships we have, but the soul mates in your life can change.

My high school girl friend was my soul mate from August 2012 to March 2014. We weren’t dating during all of that but she was my best friend and my soul mate from the beginning.

My best friend junior year, senior year, and still to this day is my soul mate. She stuck with me even when I pushed her away. She has helped me pick up the pieces in my life.

My two roommates from my freshman year of college are my soul mates. It’s because of them I know I picked the right college. They are family to me.

So you see I’ve had many soul mates, and I will continue to have many soul mates. Some will be lovers, and some will be friends. I will continuously have so much love in my life thanks to the people, the soul mates, who enter it.

I reject the notion that there is only one “the one.”  I believe there are different “ones” for the different times in your life. And yes there will eventually be a one who sticks around for longer, but just because you lose someone that you loved with your whole heart doesn’t mean you won’t find love again.

There’s not just one person out there for everyone. There are many people out there for everyone.

I will find another one, and another one, and maybe another one. I will find love again, but in the meantime, I can’t forget that I already have it.