20 of My Favorite Quotes

1.      “Anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve.” –JK Rowling

2.      “It’s kind of fun to do the impossible.” –Walt Disney

3.      “Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” –Coco Chanel

4.      “To live will be an awfully big adventure.” –Peter Pan

5.      “We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already. We have the power to imagine better.” –JK Rowling

6.      “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but building the new.” –Socrates

7.      “Practice reckless optimism.” –Hannah Hart

8.      “I don’t want fear of failure to stop me doing what I really care about.” –Emma Watson

9.      “You are not the opinion of someone who doesn’t know you; you are not damaged goods because of the mistakes you’ve made.” –Taylor Swift

10.   “Females are strong as hell.” –Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

11.   “What? Like it’s hard?” –Elle Woods

12.   “I’ve survived a lot of things, and I’ll probably survive this.” –JD Salinger

13.   “Bitches get stuff done.” –Tina Fey

14.   “The problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude about the problem.” –Captain Jack Sparrow

15.   “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” –Theodore Roosevelt

16.   “Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow.” –Mushu

17.   “Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” –Jack Canfield

18.   “Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.” –Roald Dahl

19.   “Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality.” –Jules de Gaultier

20.   “Write drunk, edit sober.” –Earnest Hemmingway

Moving Back to College

I moved back into college this weekend. The drive wasn't bad and neither was unpacking all my stuff. 

I have so many mixed feelings about starting this year like many of my friend. I’m excited, anxious, happy, and stressed. It’s a lot to take in. And unfortunately the negative feelings are overshadowing the positive ones.

I have been looking forward to moving back to college since I went home for the summer in May. I’ve missed my friends, I’ve missed my independence, hell I even missed classes. And I’m still excited about all of those things. But now that I’m here there is so much to worry about.

First off I’m very introverted. Which I’m fine with, but it can make living at college a challenge, especially the first week back. The first week back everyone has missed school and friends so there is a lot of socializing and parties. I’ve been here two nights and I went out to party on both nights. I miss my friends and drinking just like everyone else; however, it’s been a lot for me to handle and it’s been giving me anxiety.

Then there is the fact that classes start tomorrow and I feel extremely unorganized. Because I just moved in to a new building so the new setup isn’t familiar yet and I have no idea where all my shit is. It makes me feel unprepared. Just more stress.

I’m trying to not let those feelings control me because I really want to have a good year. It’s just hard. 

The One

Growing up I always imaged my prince charming coming to sweep me off my feet and lead me to happily ever after. Disney was my life and I never saw any logical reason why I shouldn’t be a princess. That was when I was 7.

When I was 10 I knew that I’d fall in love in high school. It would be the type of fairy tale love that would last forever. We’d get married after graduation and go to college together and I’d still get my happily ever after.

I started high school when I was 15 years old and I had a crush on a junior boy. I thought eventually he’d notice me and tell me I’m not like all the other girls. Then we’d get married and live happily ever after. He never did notice me. Shocker.

Junior year I fell in love. I never saw it coming. She was my best friend. She was a she. Holy shit I’m gay. But it was ok, because I loved her and she loved me. It wasn’t exactly the love I was expecting but it was so much better. I never could have imagined what being in love was really like until it actually happened to me. We were together for a year and a half before we broke up.

The break up destroyed me. I was with this girl most of junior and senior year. We talked about surviving long distance while in college. We talked about how we’d eventually move in together, get married and adopt kids. We even came up with names for those kids. We talked about all the different places we’d live and travel to. I had stars in my eyes and when I saw her I couldn’t help but smile.

She was the one.

And when it was over I thought so was everything else. I had lost my one. My one person who would be my perfect other half for all of eternity. I truly believed I would never feel that way again.

After a year I began to realize, there isn’t just one person out there for everyone. I haven’t completely given up the idea of soul mates. I do believe we are supposed to meet the people we meet and have the relationships we have, but the soul mates in your life can change.

My high school girl friend was my soul mate from August 2012 to March 2014. We weren’t dating during all of that but she was my best friend and my soul mate from the beginning.

My best friend junior year, senior year, and still to this day is my soul mate. She stuck with me even when I pushed her away. She has helped me pick up the pieces in my life.

My two roommates from my freshman year of college are my soul mates. It’s because of them I know I picked the right college. They are family to me.

So you see I’ve had many soul mates, and I will continue to have many soul mates. Some will be lovers, and some will be friends. I will continuously have so much love in my life thanks to the people, the soul mates, who enter it.

I reject the notion that there is only one “the one.”  I believe there are different “ones” for the different times in your life. And yes there will eventually be a one who sticks around for longer, but just because you lose someone that you loved with your whole heart doesn’t mean you won’t find love again.

There’s not just one person out there for everyone. There are many people out there for everyone.

I will find another one, and another one, and maybe another one. I will find love again, but in the meantime, I can’t forget that I already have it.

20 Facts About Me

1.      I’m gay and I had no idea until I was 17

2.      I’m 5’2”

3.      Harry potter is my favorite everything

4.      I’ve been heartbroken. I’m slowly healing

5.      I’m in college to become a Physical Therapist

6.      I’m from Atlanta, but I go to school in St. Louis (10 hours away)

7.      Taylor Swift is my favorite artist. She is perfection

8.      My two favorite actors are Emma Watson and Logan Lerman. So Perks of Being a Wallflower was basically the coolest thing ever

9.      I did color guard and theatre in high school, and I used to do ballet. Performing is life

10.   I teach swim lessons and coach swim team even though I never worked hard during my own swim team practices

11.   I’ve been in catholic school since 2^nd grade and I continued on to a catholic university even though I don’t completely agree with the catholic church on everything

12.   I can make origami paper cranes. They help me heal

13.   I suffer from anxiety, depression, self-harm, and an eating disorder. All which I keep secret and haven’t received help for. It’s a struggle and exhausting.

14.   I like to go to bed really early. Like 9:30 pm

15.   I have one tattoo so far. It’s an equality sign on my left wrist.

16.   I’ve broken one bone, I did it by falling 15 feet off a zip line. I have a slight fear of heights now.

17.   I never got a detention in high school. But it wasn’t because I didn’t break any rules. I just didn’t get caught.

18.   My favorite color is lime green and all four walls of my bedroom are painted a bright lime green color.

19.   Technology is not my friend. I really just don’t understand it at all, but I try my hardest!

20.   On August 24^th I will have been alive for 20 years

20 of My Future Wives

Basically this is a list of my top celebrity crushes. And I'd love to marry any one of them (or all of them). Sadly because I've never met any of these women my judgement on them is based off of interviews they've done, movies they've been in, and their social media accounts. So they are all very superficial judgments, but hey, there is nothing wrong with wanting a hot wife. (I'm also aware many of these girls are straight but I can't help but hope!)

20. Laura Prepon

               If you’re like me, you first saw her as Donna in That 70’s Show. But if you’re like me you were paying more attention to Mila Kunis. However, when Orange is the New Black came along she stole my heart. She is the ultimate lesbian catnip. She’s tall and has that sexy voice. Plus I’ve seen her boobs in a couple of shots and I love them!

19. Jennifer Lawrence

               She’s hilarious. And isn’t that what every girl looks for in another girl? She’s also beautiful and kickass as Katniss in The Hunger Games. But to me it’s her sense of humor and relatability that makes her so lovable. I mean she tripped at the Oscars! That’s something I would do, you know if I was ever cool enough to receive an Oscar…

18. Emma Stone

               Another hilarious girl. Obviously this is an important quality in a girl for me. There is one particular reason she makes the list. Easy A. That’s enough reason right? (You’d agree with me if you’ve seen it) Of course she’s brilliant in other things but I love the sexy and funny and vulnerable characteristics she portrays in this one movie.

17. Scarlett Johansson

               Can anyone anywhere not include Scarlett on their future wife list? She’s so sexy and stunning and I could just look at her forever. Also, Scarlett Jo as black widow in The Avengers was a perfect decision. She’s hot and badass.

16. Shailene Woodley

               Now even though The Secret Life of the American Teenager was a terrible show (that we all watched anyways because we were addicted), she has done some amazing work since then. I loved her in Divergent and The Fault in Our Stars. Two very different movies that she did very well in. Also, I love the type of lifestyle she lives. It’s healthy and inspiring.

15. Hannah Hart

               If you don’t know who Hannah Hart is, what type of lesbian are you? She in on YouTube making videos with over 2 million subscribers. She is the creator of the My Drunk Kitchen episodes, where she cooks meals drunk while filming; and she has written a book of the same title. She is also vocal about her sexuality and honestly I just love her haircut.

14. Natasha Negovanlis

               You probably haven’t heard of her, so go look her up. Currently she is playing a hot vampire in Carmilla, a web series on YouTube. Now I didn’t hop on the vampire train back when Twilight came out, but now I want Natasha to be a real vampire and come bite me.

13. Julia Telles

               What can I say, I have a thing for ballerinas. Another name you might not be familiar with, she was one of the stars of Bunheads-the ABC family TV show about girls training to be ballerinas. What I love so much about her was her character was a rebellious ballerina. She’s just completely my type, also she’s actually my age which is a plus.

12. Chloe Grace Moretz

               She was the main character in the movie If I Stay, and yes I cried. She is beautiful and (according to her Instagram account) she’s really into music. I also love her because she’s from Georgia, just like me! Do I need a better reason?

11.  Ellen Page

               Basically who could ever forget Juno? Yeah not me. Also her coming out video is perfection. I just leave a link of that here for your enjoyment…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hlCEIUATzg 

10.  Blake Lively

               Her hair. I don’t know if I want to date her or just be her. She’s beautiful. Enough said.

9.  Taylor Swift

               I can listen to her songs for months without listening to anything else. And I have done that. Not only are her songs amazing but Taylor is just flawless herself. Her fashion, her love for her fans, and she’s best friends with the coolest people. I love Tswift.

8. Rita Volk

               One of the stars of MTV’s Faking It. She’s so beautiful, and she plays a great lesbian on TV. Very convincing…

7. Emma Roberts

               The first time my ex-girlfriend asked which celebrity I had a girl crush on she was my answer. I loved her back in the day in Nancy Drew and I love her now in American Horror Story: Coven. She can rock any hair color. If you don’t believe me just google it. Trust me, you’ll see.

6. Allison Scagliotti

               I first saw her in Warehouse 13 and now I’m so happy she’s in Stitchers. Honestly I loved her spunky attitude. In Warehouse 13 she played and punk computer nerd that could rock out on the guitar. So hot and badass… are you seeing my type yet??

5. Emma Watson

               Ok this is my Harry Potter nerd side coming out. She grew up in front of my eyes as Hermione. And she grew into such an attractive women. Her outfits are always on point. She rocked the pixie haircut and every length since then. I love that she went to Brown University and I love her work for equality with HeforShe. It’s so inspiring. She is a flawless human being.

4. Anna Kendrick

               Yes I’m obsessed with Pitch Perfect, and I loved her in Into the Woods. Basically I love her. I do love seeing her in interviews more than anything else. She’s just so funny and she’s adorkable and cute and seems like she’d be such a great best friend (a number one quality in a wife).

3. Ruby Rose

               I didn’t know who she was until this summer, so I was a little late to hope on the Ruby Rose bandwagon. In Orange is the New Black, she plays a fellow prisoner, which is hot. I love her Australian accent. I’m a sucker for accents. I loved her tattoos. She’s just so badass.

2. Kristen Stewart

               She was number one of my list for so long. Since I realized I was gay until this summer actually. She is so attractive and there is just something about her that makes every lesbian I know attracted to her too. I don’t know what it is. Yes I would definitely love to marry her. She gets too much hate because of Twilight, but actually she’s really talented and so cool.

1.Cara Delevingne

               She joined the list this summer and went straight to the top. She is perfection. She’s funny, badass, attractive… everything. She was a model and now she’s an actress. She has many tattoos, and her sarcasm is great. She sings, plays guitar and drums, and loves video games. There aren’t enough words to describe my love for her. Enjoy multiple pictures instead.

Review: Paper Towns Movie

Summary: Paper Towns is a story of a boy named Q who falls in love with the girl next door Margo. They were friends as kids but as they grew up they stopped talking. Then one night senior year Margo comes through Q’s window and takes him on an adventure to take revenge on the people who have wronged her. The next day Margo has run away. Q wants to go find her because he thinks he’s in love with her. He follows clues Margo left behind to figure out where she went. Then Q and his friends hop in a van to go get her.

The cast for this movie is perfection. Every actor really embraces the complexity of each of their characters. My favorite casting choice is Cara Delevingne as Margo. I might be a little bias because I’m totally attracted to her, but I also feel like she really captured the essence of Margo Roth Spiegleman. The characters adventurous and wild nature, while also being uncertain and even depressed.

This movie had so many funny moments that made me laugh out loud. The story is fun and exciting at some moments and sweet and sentimental at others. The funny moments completely added to the quality of the film and made it more enjoyable. Also this movie has a great soundtrack that set the mood and enhanced the film.

Lastly, one of my favorite parts was the memorable quotes from the book that I was so glad they included in the movie. There are quotes about taking risks, quotes that make you laugh, and quotes that teach a lesson. To me the most important quote come at the end of the movie:

“What a treacherous thing to believe that a person is more than a person.”

This quote speaks volumes to me and perfectly sums up a main theme of the movie so well.

Yes the movie and the book have some differences. I know this upsets some people. But how I see it is that books and movies are different mediums, and that they are trying to accomplish different things. As long as the integrity of the book is intact (aka characters don’t dramatically change personalities and the plot stays the same) it’s acceptable for the movie to make some changes.

So here are the two main changes from the movie and book. Warning this paragraph will contain some spoilers for the book and movie. Just jump to the next paragraph if you would like to avoid them. So the first difference is that in the movie there is no focus on Margo being depressed. Q is not rushing to get to Margo because he’s worried about her killing herself, he’s rushing to get there because his friends want to get back before prom. Which is the second difference, instead of their road trip happening during graduation it happens before prom. I feel like both of these differences are acceptable. The first one is a major change to a character’s personality; however the actress who plays Margo, Cara Delevingne, incorporates the depression into the character. So even though it’s not explicitly in the script, from the actress still portrays that part of Margo. And changing the story to before prom didn’t have much of an impact to me. It didn’t feel like a major difference

I thoroughly enjoyed this movie and I love how I left the theatre wanting to be more adventurous and wanting to step out of my comfort zone which I think is important to do.

Stop playing it safe. Wake up, Take risks, and Live.